How Not to Make Love to a Fat Girl

Holding Hands
Photo: Leonardo Rizzi

People — and in this context, women — are more than just their body parts: their fat, their bellies, their thighs, their skin.

When you are attracted to a person of size (or any one who has a marginalized body or identity), and they invite you to share sexual intimacy with them, don’t objectify or fetishize them. As this poet says, “Make love to the whole of them.”

If you are intimidated by the stigma, or unsure of yourself, be vulnerable and open-hearted and ask questions. Ask your partner what they desire and don’t desire. Allow them to teach you how they want to be treated.

Learn their boundaries and get consent. Not only is consent required, but it allows for the sort of physical and emotional safety necessary for intimate connection to truly be fulfilling for all parties involved.

“Trust me, you’ll get luckier this way.”

This article was originally published at Everyday Feminism. It is republished here with permission.


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